Picture this: You and your beau have a huge blowout right before dinner with your girlfriends. Still livid from the fight, you arrive at the restaurant and instantly dish out every dirty detail: what he said, what you said, what he did, etc. The night is spent reliving and dissecting every possible aspect of the argument as you desperately ask your friends for advice.
Question: Is this run down acceptable? Or did you just commit a terrible relationship faux pas?
Although it’s totally normal to feel the need to divulge every disagreement, comment or hurt feeling to your closest friends {they are after all your friends!}, I can’t help but wonder if it’s the smartest thing for your relationship. By trying to relieve stress or gain words of wisdom, you may actually be doing your relationship a disservice by revealing too much.
While giving your girlfriends the 411 over drinks may seem perfectly reasonable at the time, a week or two later, after you and your mate have patched things up, it may not be so easy convincing your girlfriends that things have changed. And if you turn this rundown into a weekly occurrence, they may even begin to hold a grudge against your partner. You’ll soon find that it becomes increasingly more difficult {and eventually impossible} to talk openly about your relationship woes without unnecessary criticism and judgment.
Treating your relationship with respect should be of the utmost importance, so next time use tact and exercise maturity in how you relay the current situation to your friends. Also remember to use your words wisely. If the fight is only temporary {as so many are}, you may come to regret some of the heat-of-the-moment comments you made, only to find that you can’t take them back.
I realize that it seems counterintuitive to not share such things with your friends who have been by your side through thick and thin, especially in a time of need, but I strongly urge you to be selective in what you share.
How much do you share about your relationship with your friends?
~Andrea Kayda
