Cheers to you, single quarter-lifers!
I’d like to raise a glass to the single girl. As our twenties linger on, sometimes it feels like we’re a dying breed, watching our girlfriends slowly settle into relationships and wondering who the hell is gonna join us on Tuesday nights for Glee and DYI pedis using the Justin Bieber OPI polish (shhh). Thank goodness for Sex and the City, which not only erased the shame behind being a single woman but actually celebrated it in all its fabulousness. Still though, there’s that creeping doubt in the back of so many of our minds that there’s still something missing without that romantic relationship to make us whole.
I’m here to squash that notion. To be a single twenty-something in 2011 means one thing: honey, the world is yours. I’m certainly no male-basher and I don’t mean to suggest that women in committed relationships can’t reach the same heights as untethered ones, but there is something wildly exciting about being completely unattached at the quarter-life juncture {and I’m not just referring to the entitled way in which you can flick your wrists during Beyonce’s “All The Single Ladies”}. You can move to a new city, bleach your hair blonde because you’ve always wanted to try it, and decorate your bedroom exclusively in shades of pink because hey, your only obligation is to please you.
Make The Most of It
Aside from all the freedoms you have though, to be a single twenty-something means having the opportunity to build a beautiful relationship with none other than…YOURSELF. How many of us spent the better part of our formative years in relationships, only to be thrust into singlehood and slapped with the harsh reality that we didn’t really know who we were outside of the men we were with? Albeit scary, there is something so intrinsically beautiful about cultivating your own sense of self and navigating through life with the time and space to really discover what makes YOU tick.
My own journey unexpectedly shoved me out of relationship bliss and slammed the door in my face, leaving me kicking and clawing and screaming as I was dragged away from the safety of “taken” and thrust into the terrifying realm of “singlehood.” While it nearly killed me {I wish I were being melodramatic}, I realized how much of my devastation derived from fear of the unknown and how little of it had to do with my actual ex-boyfriend. It was a sobering moment to look in the mirror and realize how little I knew about myself as a person, having devoted so much time and energy into being an “us.”
What Have I Learned?
Several years down the road, I am eternally grateful for the opportunity being single has provided me to develop my own identity as a sassy young go-getter. That liberation led me to transfer universities, move to New Zealand for six months, and really pursue my writing aspirations. I don’t think I would have had the courage to make such big decisions had I still had a significant other to consider.
So, cheers to you, single ladies. It takes a mighty brave gal to stare directly at the face of eHarmony ads, the never-ending supply of love songs on the radio, as well as Kendra and Hank while still having faith in your ability to rock the free world without a man on your arm. There are many synonyms for the word “single” that include negative connotations like, “spinster,” “unwed,” and “partnerless.” But if you persevere through all those critical expressions, you arrive at a word that quite simply and concisely the beauty and empowerment of what it means to be a single quarter-life woman: free.
~Liz Owen
