How to Lose a Guy in 5 Rules
Magazines and books still tell women what to do and what not to do when they go on a date. Don’t talk about ex boyfriends, stick to the three date rule, wait two hours before you text him back… the list goes on. So I decided to use some real-life human guinea pigs and Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider’s The Complete Book of Rules to see if dating rules really work. Don’t try this at home.
Don’t talk to a man first
According to the book; if women ask someone out first, they are messing with fate. If it’s meant to happen he’ll make the first move. Where has this myth come from? It’s making women lazy.
Not all men are confident and bold. Regardless of sex anyone can fear rejection or suffer from shyness. And regarding the idea of, if he likes you enough he’ll talk to you? The more I find someone attractive, the more intimidated I am about asking them out. Secondly, that bartender that’s been staring at you since you bought a drink is probably not going to ask you out under the beady eye of his manager. It really is up to you too. Can we stop with this myth now please?
Don’t stare at men or talk too much
I ‘m aware of how I must look. With my eyes fixated at the bar, or anywhere other than his face, I seem more interested in where my next drink is coming from rather than what he has to say. So other than seeming like a bored alcoholic, the fact that I was concentrating on not talking too much meant that we had to endure awkward silences whilst I looked vacant, thinking frantically.
Should I talk about the weather or politics? Am I talking too much? Don’t talk about job problems, don’t talk about job problems. Don’t look directly into his face. His face is like the sun…How hot is the sun? I’m cold, is there a draught?
Shouldn’t I be thinking about what he’s saying rather than playing ‘think of his face as the sun’ games in my head?
“Um, did you want another drink?”
I’m exhausted and don’t expect a call back.
Don’t meet him half way or go Dutch on a date
And now he thinks I’m rude.
Show up even if you don’t feel like it
I chose a day where I’d had a particularly bad day. A looming headache meant that I had to insist on skulking in the darkest corner of the bar and squinted at him for the entire conversation. I drank more to drown out the headache.
Don’t call him and rarely return his calls
I understand the purpose of this one. It’s meant to make you seem incredibly busy and make him even keener. This rule didn’t work for me. I was confronted by angry ‘why are you ignoring me?’ texts. We were already arguing and I’d only met him twice.
It seems as though dating rules make us act like someone we’re not. For me, rather than helping me get to know a person, they alienated me from him. So I think it’s time to scrap the dating rules and just be ourselves.
Maybe just leave your impression of what you would look like if you were The Berlin Wall until date number two {for my housemate Chloe}.
~ Marianne Voyle
Image found at: http://www.iobad.com/
